In
heaven...
There are English policemen,
German engineers,
French cooks,
Italian lovers,
and the Swiss Organise everything.
In hell...
There are English cooks,
German Policemen,
French engineers,
Swiss lovers,
and the Italians Organise everything.
|
A
happy man has...
a japanese wife,
a Chinese cook,
an English house,
and an American salary.
An unhappy man has...
a japanese house,
an English cook,
an American wife,
and a Chinese salary.
|
A
beggar used to sleep under a statue of Mahatma Gandhi.
One night,
at the stroke of midnight the shadowy figure of the
Mahatma appeared and
complained...
"You call me the father of
the nation but do nothing for me. You provide a
horse for Shivaji and even for some of those British
generals...But I have to stand
there on my old bandy legs. My varicose veins are
killing me. Do something."
When the apparition kept
returning to haunt him, the beggar finally sought out
the local politician and asked him to wait with him till
midnight. Sure enough the ghostly
figure appeared and the beggar introduced the
politician. Gandhi was not pleased...
"I asked for a horse you fool...and you bring me a
donkey."
|
In
this country we like our liquor hard and our women
soft."
"Well, we prefer our liquor straight and our women
curved." |
A
couple checked into a honeymoon hotel. At about four in
the morning,
the duty porter was surprised to see the groom emerge in
full fishing gear
and go off into the dark. The same thing happened
the next day.
On the third, he could not contain his curiosity any
longer and so asked,
"Forgive my intrusion Sir, but isn't this your
honeymoon?"
"Yes."
"Most men spend their honeymoons making love to
their brides."
"I can't, my wife has gonorrhea."
"Well...there's anal sex..."
"Impossible...my wife has diarrhoea."
"Well what about oral sex?"
"No way...she has pyorrhoea."
"Gonorrhea, Diarrhoea, Pyorrhoea.:.good God...why
did you marry the woman?"
"Because I love fishing...and she's full of
worms." |
Boy
to girl..."But seriously, if someone offered you a
million rupees, would you ?"
Girl..."Well, with a million I could get a flat, a
car...for a million... yes I would."
Boy..."In that case I will make you a serious offer
of one hundred rupees." ·
Girl..."A hundred?...just what sort of girl do you
think I am?"
Boy..."That, we have already established. Now we
are negotiating the price."
A sophisticated prostitute...a haw haw Whore. |
|
